Definition of a Date, Old Fashioned Date vs Hanging Out, Early Dating as Simple and Non-Committal, and Post Mission Dating as Serious – by Elder Dallin H Oaks, 2005

Definition of a Date,  Old Fashioned Date vs Hanging Out, Early Dating as Simple and Non-Committal, and Post Mission Dating as Serious – by Elder Dallin H Oaks, 2005
     Definition of a Date:
“If you don’t know what a date is, perhaps this definition will help. I heard it from my 18-year-old    granddaughter. A “date” must pass the test of three p’s: (1) planned ahead, (2) paid for, and (3) paired off.” -Elder Oaks – CES Fireside May 2005 The Dedication of a Lifetime
     The old fashioned date vs hanging out:

“Simple and more frequent dates allow both men and women to “shop around” in a way that allows extensive evaluation of the prospects. The old-fashioned date was a wonderful way to get acquainted with a member of the opposite sex. It encouraged conversation. It allowed you to see how you treat others and how you are treated in a one-on-one situation. It gave opportunities to learn how to initiate and sustain a mature relationship. None of that happens in hanging out.” -Elder Oaks – CES Fireside May 2005 The Dedication of a Lifetime

 

 

A Date Doesn’t Imply Continuing Commitment, Make Early Dates Simple and Not Serious:

“Young women, resist too much hanging out, and encourage dates that are simple, inexpensive, and frequent. Don’t make it easy for young men to hang out in a setting where you women provide the food. Don’t subsidize freeloaders. An occasional group activity is okay, but when you see men who make hanging out their primary interaction with the opposite sex, I think you should lock the pantry and bolt the front door.  If you do this, you should also hang out a sign, “Will open for individual dates,” or something like that. And, young women, please make it easier for these shy males to ask for a simple, inexpensive date. Part of making it easier is to avoid implying that a date is something very serious. If we are to persuade young men to ask for dates more frequently, we must establish a mutual expectation that to go on a date is not to imply a continuing commitment.” -Elder Oaks

 

Post mission dating is serious:

“Men, if you have returned from your mission and you are still following the boy-girl patterns you were counseled to follow when you were 15, it is time for you to grow up. Gather your courage and look for someone to pair off with.  Start with a variety of dates with a variety of young women, and when that phase yields a good prospect, proceed to courtship. It’s marriage time. That is what the Lord intends for His young adult sons and daughters. Men have the initiative, and you men should get on with it.”  -Elder Oaks
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